Why a surrogate needs her own legal counsel

Start by confirming who represents whom

At the beginning, establish the attorney-client relationship and the scope of the work. Record the lawyer’s name, contact details, jurisdiction, fees, and availability later in the process. Clarify how costs are paid without confusing the person paying a bill with the person the lawyer represents.

Tell the lawyer where you live, where intended parents live, where treatment may happen, and where you expect to deliver. Also mention any possible move. Those details let counsel identify which locations need legal attention rather than treating the arrangement as if it happens in one room.

• Will you represent me through the agreement and later questions?
• Who should I contact if you are unavailable?
• Which conversations and documents are confidential?
• What services require separate counsel or another fee?

Read with a pencil and a real-life calendar

Read the draft in short sections. Mark words you cannot explain in your own language. Beside a clause, write what it would mean on an ordinary day: taking leave, traveling, keeping receipts, notifying someone about an appointment, or arranging care for your children.

For example, “reasonable expenses” needs enough detail that you can recognize what qualifies. Imagine a monitoring visit moves to a school holiday. Does the agreement address childcare, advance approval, documentation, and reimbursement timing? Bring that scenario to your lawyer rather than asking only whether the contract looks standard.

Keep questions in one version of the document. A dated list of requested changes makes the next discussion more efficient and prevents a point from disappearing when several people circulate drafts. Do not treat an unexplained clause as settled because nobody else has mentioned it.

Flag any deadline that would affect your work or family calendar. If the draft describes an obligation you cannot realistically meet, tell your lawyer before discussing a substitute with anyone else.

Make the review cover more than compensation

Payment matters, but it is one part of the arrangement. Review who is responsible for insurance, medical bills, travel, practical help, counseling, and the work of establishing parentage. Explain your own constraints so the lawyer can connect the language to your life.

The ASRM practice guidance describes legal preparation and completed agreements before carrier treatment. Keep the legal timeline connected to the clinic’s calendar so unresolved language does not become a last-minute decision under pressure.

Do not borrow another state’s answer

An online story about a contract can help you notice a question, but it cannot establish how the law applies to you. Even a document used successfully by someone you know may describe different places, services, or circumstances.

New York provides a specific example: its Gestational Surrogates’ Bill of Rights gives a surrogate the right to choose separate counsel paid for by intended parents, with requirements concerning New York licensure and surrogacy experience. Those are New York protections; your own lawyer must explain the rules relevant to your arrangement.

When someone says a clause is required, ask whether that means required by law, requested by a participant, or preferred by a service provider. Those are different explanations. Knowing which one applies helps you understand the discussion and what still needs clarification.

Leave the consultation with decisions you understand

Before signing, summarize the important terms in your own words and ask the lawyer to correct any misunderstanding. Identify open questions, who will answer them, and whether the document needs another revision. Keep the final agreement and a clear contact route for later questions.

A practical closing checklist is simple: the version is correct, your questions have answers, the financial schedule matches what was discussed, and you understand the next step. If you feel hurried, say exactly what remains unclear. Reading time and explanation belong in the process.

Use our insurance questions and compensation guide to prepare your notes. You can explore surrogacy with Cove while keeping legal decisions with your own representative.