Surrogate requirements: what to check before applying

What do common medical requirements mean?

The ASRM guidance for gestational carriers generally prefers carriers ages 21–45 who have had at least one full-term, uncomplicated pregnancy. It also recommends medical and psychosocial evaluation. These are professional recommendations, not a promise that meeting a short list makes someone eligible.

Ask the clinic which records it needs and who makes the final decision. If your history includes something you are unsure about, describe it accurately instead of trying to label it as either disqualifying or harmless. The useful question is: “Can your physician review this history before I make travel plans or other commitments?”

A program may also have its own acceptance criteria. Ask which requirements come from the treating clinic and which come from the matching program. Request clarification when a rule is unclear; guessing can waste your time.

Gather records without turning it into a second job

Start with a small record list: the practices that provided your previous pregnancy care, the hospital where you delivered, and any clinician involved in important follow-up care. You can collect office names and approximate dates before requesting complete files.

• Ask where records should be sent and whether a signed release is required.
• Find out who follows up if an office does not respond.
• Keep a note of each request, the date sent, and the receiving contact.
• Use the clinic’s secure submission route for medical information.

If you have moved or changed providers, say so early. A missing document is a task to solve, not a reason to rewrite your history from memory. Ask whether an initial conversation can happen while records are being collected.

Choose one place to keep administrative notes, separate from the records themselves. If several people are helping, agree who will make each request. That avoids duplicate calls and gives you a clear person to ask about progress.

Look at an ordinary week, then a difficult one

Practical readiness deserves as much attention as an application. Open your calendar and consider who could cover school pickup during an appointment, whether a support person can travel, and how you would handle a change announced with little notice.

For example, a weekday appointment may be manageable until it overlaps with a child’s school holiday and a partner’s work trip. Write down a first option and a backup for childcare, transport, and household tasks. Find out which costs the proposed agreement would cover instead of assuming reimbursement.

Talk about privacy too. Decide who you would tell, what your children might need explained, and which parts of the process you want to keep within your household. Being generous with your time does not require making every detail public.

Keep your own questions in the room

Screening is also a chance to understand the arrangement. ASRM’s ethics guidance supports a carrier’s control over their medical care and separate legal representation. Ask who your lawyer represents, how counseling is arranged, and where you can raise a concern privately.

Keep a separate list of questions you have not yet asked. A warm introduction can make it easy to skip awkward subjects. Those subjects still deserve clear answers before commitments grow.

Choose a next step you can actually use

Before applying, write three short lists: what you know, what needs professional review, and what would make the timing difficult. “I need my previous delivery records” is actionable. “I should already know everything” is not.

Then ask about sequence. Will records be reviewed before matching? When would you speak with a counselor? At what point would travel be discussed? A clear order helps you avoid planning around dates that have not been confirmed.

If the next few months are crowded, ask whether you can return later. Exploring surrogacy is allowed to end in a pause. Read how to become a surrogate for the broader sequence, or explore surrogacy with Cove when you are ready to learn about the platform.